Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Amelia's Birth Story

After a week of feeling unwell with high BP, protein and a migraine I made it to my ceaser date, 38 weeks pregnant. I arrived at 7am, had a catheter and a drip inserted (lovely) . I needed the drip inserted because they like to give you two litres of fluid before a ceaser so that the spinal doesnt make your BP drop too much. Anyway, my protein at this point was over 2 plus so it was definitly time to have bub,  I don't think I could have held out any longer, my body couldnt cope being pregnant anymore. The drip hurt going in and the midwife said 'don't worry, its the most pain you will feel today'. This became a funny joke later.

I was really nervous about getting the spinal because I felt it go in last time and Ben nearly fainted because of the way I screamed. He chose, with my blessing, to stay out of theatre for this bit. I felt no sensation at all this time when it was inserted and was surprised and happy when my legs started to go numb. The theatre staff helped me lie on the table and Ben arrived. We were both feeling really good although I was still slightly terrified.

The Docs all arrived and the surgery started. I started to feel a bit of nausea which I expected because it happened last time too. The doc put some anti nausea medicine in my drip and I waited, expecting to feel better but then it got alot worse. I started to feel really unwell and experienced extreme pain in my neck. It is hard to explain what it felt like but I think I was probably about to go unconcious. I wouldnt lie still and was screaming and vomitting. I kept trying to sit up and was causing the staff alot of grief because they couldnt get a blood pressure reading because I wouldnt keep my arm still. I was yelling that I wanted them to get the baby out and make me better and asking why my neck hurt so much. They kept putting an oxygen mask on me but I kept pulling it off because I needed to spew and it made me feel worse. I was about to ask them to give me a general and Ben said they were about to give me one when the aneithitist managed to fix the problem and I became stable again. I was really shaken up though and a long way from a 'happy about to have a baby' place. The meds might have sedated me a bit too.

Then my gorgeous Amelia was born and I managed a smile and after she was checked I was gla to see her in Bens arms which is where she stayed for about three hours. I had a quick cuddle but really wasnt in a good place to be welcoming my new daughter into the world. In recovery the nurse asked if I wanted to feed her and to my shock I said no. I knew she was safe with Ben and I wanted the first feed to be a special moment and I just wasnt up to it. The theatre staff sat with me and de briefed about what happened. They think my kidneys might not have been functioning properly and the two litres of fluid I was given didnt protect me from a massive blood pressure drop. My BP went from 160/100 to 60/ something in about three minutes. They have no idea why my neck hurt and it still does.

After a couple of hours back in my room the nurse came in and weighed Milly (5 lb 14oz, 46 cm long) and dressed her and thats when the hormones kicked in for me. Suddenly I was yelling at Ben to get the camera and kept saying she was tiny and cute. After she was dressed I gave her the first feed and I am so glad I waited because it was amazing. She latched straight away and I just couldnt take my eyes off her. Since then she has fed and fed and is gaining weight so quickly. She is just divine! Im still glad I got my tubes tied though and if I was to ever get pregnant again I would have a ceaser with a general. That was trully the worst experience of my life.

I figure lots of people have bad birth stories and many people struggle to get past it. I refuse to do that, I got a beautiful daughter out of it, the experience is over, the memory can't be changed and it will never happen again so Im moving on from it and Im just going to enjoy my beautiful daughters. I have had two amazing births and one I would rather forget but the end result was the same, another wonderful child to love and nurture.